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- Men are like department stores....their clothes should always be half off.
- Men are like vacations....they never seem to be long enough.
- Men are like computers...hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
- Men are like coolers...load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
- Men are like chocolate bars....sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
- Men are like coffee....the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
- Men are like horoscopes....they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
- Men are like plungers...they spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom.
- Men are like cement....after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard. (OUCH!!!!)
- Why are men like laxatives?
- They irritate the shit out of you.
- Why did God create man?
- Because vibrators don't mow lawns.
- What are two reasons men don't mind their own business?
- No mind-No business.
- How are men and parking spots alike?
- The good ones are taken and what's left is handicapped.
- Why is it hard for a women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
- Because those men already have boyfriends
- How is a man like a snowstorm?
- You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
- Why are men given larger brains than dogs?
- So they don't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
- Why can't men get mad cow disease?
- Because they're all pigs