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- AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.
- DUMBWAITER: one who asks if the kids would care to order dessert
- FAMILY PLANNING: the art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.
- FEEDBACK: the inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.
- FULL NAME: what you call your child when you're mad at him/her.
- GRANDPARENTS: the people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.
- HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
- IMPREGNABLE: a woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
- INDEPENDENT: how we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.
- OW: the first word spoken by children with older siblings.
- PRENATAL: when your life was still somewhat your own.
- PUDDLE: a small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.
- SHOW OFF: a child who is more talented than yours.
- STERILIZE: what you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
- TOP BUNK: where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
- TWO-MINUTE WARNING: when the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.
- VERBAL: able to whine in words
- WHODUNIT: none of the kids that live in your house...